(Insert witty blog title here) Charlie's

project updates, travelling records, random thoughts. teaching, travelling, designing, and the usual machinations people end up embrawled in.

Listening to: Hurts - It's a wonderful life

Time in Madrid is nearly over, I and a collegue handed in our notices this afternoon after a numbing session on speaking activities only made tolerable by the hi-jacking of a conversation exercise by the younger staff from 'guess the conversation' - observation to sex. Amazing how many aspects you can relate really!

Plenty of reasons, mainly focusing on the fact I need more time for my other commitments and potential business launch in a few months. I like my collegues, some of the classes are great fun but I would prefer to spend the 6/7 hours a day rather than in a mole-like fashion underground plus classes actually doing something more productive. It just wasn't the job for me, bit of a raw deal, and frankly, I need a break from teaching for a while. Made some good friends here certainly and some that are now back in their own countries.

I'm off to attempt another flight to go crawl under a crevice in london for a month or two, then we'll see where things lead. This time, note to self, do not book the earliest, trying to get from embajadores to barajas at 3 in the morning is chaos in madrid.




adiós, te quiero madrid!

about time I suppose!

So, Madrid. Been to see some great places including Toledo, partied in many a bar and enjoyed tapas-hopping, and my spanish is coming along slowly. Wherever i end up i'll be working on improving that. It's 9.29pm here, a normal day at work, and i'm off to see Primal scream on friday, which i'm really looking forward to.

Met some great people from all walks of life, including history-loving american majors, stereotype sheila-stating Australians, and a few Canadians with too much facial hair. Kiwis who chat to me in Japanese. Irish guys with odd hairstyles. Old school english gentlemen. Hot Scots. Spanish who can't get their head around regular verb past 'ed' endings i.e the stereotypical 'it's complicate'.

The job has improved somewhat; It's easier once you know the metro, although the hours can be an absolute pain sometimes. Most of the students are fine and rather varied, among some l'oreal managers and government president types on my timetable. A slight difference to kids!

The people I work with are perhaps the most eclectic bunch to be thrown together, but they're really good fun. Now people are settling there's a better sense of a social group and life seems more fun. 

But I still can't work out those blasted spanish verb endings!


When you suffer at hands given strength by your will
Who dares comment save the conscious at all?
Who gave the wrath, who offered the lash?
Who scattered the embers, which caused your fall?

Whose hand passed sword, bared the breast to thrust?
Whose eyes sealed blind, hears nothing, no sound?
Whose lips were pained, to betrayal of heart?
Who’s back to bare, limbs to be bound?

When given the chance to strike hot, it will be
Flee commitment, flee shackles, and flee animosity
When inflicted torment is little more than a siren’s call
Who dares comment save the conscious at all?

The first poem i've had inspiration to write in years.


A Silent-Screamed 'Okay'

A death knell, a single screamed-silent 'Okay'
Two syllables stretched across infinity, but merely a day
Trusting soul years to create, seconds to wither, die
Cutting words, vicious snarls break the mirror in my eye. 
As he wishes his own life to take
With such action, a second life to break.
The silent, screaming 'Okay'.

The silenced whisper, the finality of 'Okay'
Pulled from relation's wreckage with little to say
Selfish! What of me? A torn call to you
Quick to rebuff, hissed words and blinded view
Torn hurt by fierce rejoinder, leaving wounds bloody and sore,
Weary soul crossing his arms, little left of life within store.
The silent, screaming 'Okay.'

Don't think of it that way, the finality of 'Okay'
The boy, selfless by nature, yet rally, perhaps, may
Innate and good, a bird with a self-conscious song.
To call such a creature selfish, innately wrong.
Biting back retort, no wounds to inflict, a mistake
A lip bloody and thin, eyes staring, more to take
The silent, screaming 'Okay.'

Softly the shout in your mind, 'Okay'
How do I not make this worse? Care of an empath's breast
They've been through enough. Love, take care, rest.
Steal not my repose; make not my eye darken in fear
Allow not this wish to pass, nor my soul to tear.
The silent, screaming 'Okay.'

Some days, wishing the parallel of fates, to not hear 'Okay',
The shatter of mirrors, the soldering of heart
Fragile ties flamed, to wish us bound and apart.
Love speaks in silence, ever present in air
Which allows us to endure, no fate is fair.
The silent, screaming 'Okay.'

Your decree of steel, torn from depths of my heart, ‘Okay’
Spurned by glacial ice, a burn of heated hate
For one detested beyond life, perhaps could leave to their fate
Never one from indifference borne from fruits of care
Could wish death to entice to a sleep-dark lair
The silent, screaming 'Okay.'

I know. I'm waiting for the Call, a stolen response to 'Okay'.
Fare you well I could wish, staring t'wards yet another day
Our lives, so truly planned parallel, words still within heat
But for the sake of mind, should plan nevermore to meet.
A resolution, a wall, silence a fortress of mind
Preserver of hearts, eyes to film over blind.
The no longer silently screaming 'Okay.'



The most authentic thing about us is our capacity to create, to overcome, to endure, to transform, to love and to be greater than our suffering.”

So.. i'm working in madrid.


The hours are ridiculous and in split-shifts; the prep and paperwork required usurps most of the weekend, and you collapse into bed at 8pm some weekdays, but why should I complain?
Outside my flat (gorgeous) there are skips we use to chuck in random rubbish. every day without fail i see people rooting through the remains of the skip, flat refuse and my bag of rubbish filled with diet coke cans and the occasional noodle packet.

These people are so poor that, dragging a dirt-incrusted trolley behind them, anything can be of use. I even saw a urine soaked and smelling mattress, full of holes and stained with all manner of things, vanish into one of the said trollies.
I'm feeling not so much homesick as sad at my own reflections; that i feel within my selfishness i have a right to moan when there are people living like that right outside my doorstep. I can't settle in madrid, feeling i have left things unfinished in the uk and being unsure whether i will have paid off any debt at all by xmas, but also the guilt trip is quite profound. I could afford a trip back to see the folks; these people couldn't afford clothing.
Perhaps i should move into charity work..

Listening to: Curse of the Dragonflies - Leon's Revenge

After returning and single handedly causing chaos across 4 countries... here is the recipe:


Step 1. Book a late flight with Flybe online.
Step 2. Have no printer but take down the confirmation number only.
Step 3. Get to check-in, cause chaos as you're not on the system.
Step 4. Leave Check-in 30 minutes later, on the system.
Step 5. Board plane.
Step 6. Make sure baggage are not told about the 'extra passenger' who paid but booked late enough to not be on the system.
Step 7. Make the plane 72 minutes late to depart due to an 'extra' bag (which obviously must be a bomb) - resulting in frog marching all passengers off to personally claim all luggage.
Step 8. Take off.
Step 9. Get back to the UK.
Step 10 and beyond: Cause delay on the plane that after the UK should be going to Bergerac; when it gets there late have the return cancelled as well as the following day due to flight slots, plus delaying 2 other flights due to late departure. causing problems in Austria, UK, France and a German flight.


Flybe cost me £70; I cost them £Thousands.
Priceless. Serves you right for putting a crying baby near me.


****


Madrid on the 14th.

Listening to : stonesour - xxyz rd

So, as i'm sitting in Saltzburg airport, waiting for a plane I, by rights, shouldn't be on, a coffee and ipod for company, and wondered about the transient nature of airports.

For some, just a means of business and travel, some - escape, some - just a job. To me, I always have a trance of sadness in them. Waiting - waiting for what? Just for the gate to come up. Some people are embracing, saying goodbye, others are hissing in impatience over delayed flights, for me, the amount of airports i've been in, it's transient nature is almost commonplace. The coffee is overpriced, the uniformed staff occasionally seen dashing about in a state of panic wear the same expressions, and the souvenirs are all brought in aimed at non-budget fliers.

Although, sometimes, the unexpected takes place. Like recieving a text from someone you never thought to hear from again - which makes you forget (or perhaps emphasizes?!) where you are for a split second. Or the person next to you as you arrive back who obviously isn't expecting someone to be there and drops their bag and makes a running leap. Or the guy that gets hauled off by security for refusing to stop smoking in the departure lounge.

About this blog

Followers

Search This Blog

Twitter / summondesigns